The older I get the more I care about quality over quantity. I know I’m not all that old, 32, but quality is becoming increasingly more important to me, and has been on my mind a lot more often.
Don’t get it twisted, I’d take 10 pairs of TJ Maxx jeans for $20 a pair, over one pair of expensive brand named jeans any day. What can I say, I am a bargain girl through and through!
What I’m talking about can’t be bought with money. I mean friends. There was a time in my life and I’m sure many peoples, when we’d do anything to have tons of friends and people to love and be loved by. (which was not true love anyways, motives change things.) High school was a breeding ground for this superficial aspiration.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not turning away from friendships or avoiding new ones, I adore people, way more than everything else in the world.
What I am learning though, more and more, is that I have a deeper desire and hunger for them to be real, deep, authentic, and vulnerable.
I was pondering on this today in the shower, I do some of my best thinking in there! I landed on a ‘type of friend’ I want and want to strive to be. “The booger friend”, this is the person who will tell you if you have a booger in your nose, or food in your teeth. In other words they are honest and vulnerable, and with a propensity to be both of those proactively. I don’t want friends who feel guarded around me, or I around them. Secure in who we are, and secure enough to be honest with someone in life’s ups and downs. As flattering as it may be ‘hearing what we want to hear’ that does us no good, not one lick. I venture to say it likely does us harm. I want people who love me enough to tell me the truth even when it hurts, and to do the same for them.
As I ponder on this I don’t write from a place of longing for these authentic relationships, but from having them. Yes they are less in quantity, but the quality is deep and rich, in a way that no amount of money and popularity could attain. Yes they are spread out all over the nation, but they are my people, they are my “Em, you have a booger” friends, and wow and I humbled and thankful for them!
So here’s to the booger friends, let us have them, let us be them. And for goodness sake with all the selfishness and anger in the world these days, let us become more interested in developing quality over quantity with people. It’s more realistic, more reasonable and way more satisfying!